Lost Love
by Jared
Summary: Sometimes loving someone isn't quite enough... When faced with the toughest decision possible, what will Syaoran choose?


Lost love  
Jared 

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Disclaimer:  
The following characters belong to CLAMP and are only borrowed for the fanfic. The idea of a flute was inspired by CCD's Nagisa. 

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//_ I will never forget the day you chose to change sides. I trusted you beyond belief, trusted you as a friend… I let you into my heart, only to have you break it again. _// 

//_ It tears at me from the inside. I really don't understand why you chose to let someone else come between us. We were so close, you meant the world to me… yet you chose to let it go… all for someone else. _// 

//_ Do I really mean nothing to you? Am I really just a friend? I feel worthless… I can't even hold a candle to that… that newcomer. We've known each other for years now… and it's all come to this. _// Syaoran laughed almost hysterically. //_ Why did you do this to me, Sakura? Why? I trusted you… _// Hurt translated itself into tears that flowed silently like a river, emotions bursting forth like the raging river that it was deep within. 

//_ It really meant so much to me, knowing that you were there for me… by my side. Now, I find that it's all come to naught. _// He closed his eyes and let the memory wash over him. 

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Syaoran rounded the corner where his apartment lay. Suddenly, he spotted Sakura some distance away. He halted, a smile on his lips, intending to jump out and scare her at the appropriate moment. 

"Are you sure we ought to tell him now? Tomoyo-chan, I'm scared. What if Syaoran-kun can't take the blow?" 

//_ Blow? What blow? What is she talking about? _// Syaoran's brow furrowed in confusion. 

"Sakura-chan… you've got to tell him. If you let it drag on, you're probably going to wind up hurting him even more. Go on Sakura-chan… it'll be all right. Li-kun will understand. After all, it's been years since he last left, and though he returned, you couldn't have known. You couldn't help moving on." 

"Hai… I only wish I didn't have to do it… Still…" 

Suddenly, Syaoran couldn't take the suspense anymore. He moved out of the shadows, startling the girls as he did so. 

"Syaoran- kun! How long have you been standing there?" Sakura asked nervously. //_ He couldn't have heard, could he? Oh no, that wasn't the way I would have liked him to find out. _// One look at Syaoran's hurt expression, however, told her otherwise. "Syaoran- kun…" she began. //_ There has to be some way I can make this right; there has to be! I… I don't want to hurt Syaoran-kun. _// 

Still, there was no reply. Sakura felt alarmed. "Syaoran- kun, are you all right? Syaoran- kun?!" She raised her voice, trying to get him out of his trance. 

Suddenly, Syaoran jumped slightly. "Hai… I'm fine. Don't worry about it. So… I heard you got a new boyfriend?" he stated, almost afraid to hear it from her. //_ Please, let me have heard it wrongly. Don't let it be true. No, please, don't let her tell me she's found someone new… _// 

There was an awkward pause. Tomoyo had retreated a little way to give the two some time alone. A tiny nod confirmed Syaoran's worse fears. //_ No, it can't be true… it… it can't be! _// Still, he steeled himself the best he could and bobbed his head down to prevent Sakura from seeing the tears forming in his amber eyes. "I… I wish you all the best." He whispered, before dashing off as fast as he could, back into the safety of his apartment, where he could just hide and hope that all of this was a dream. 

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//_ Why Sakura? Why? I loved you so. I really wanted to be with you; and I came back… only to find… _// Hot, heavy tears rolled down his cheeks as he sobbed silently. Deep inside, he knew that there was no reason why Sakura had moved on. She just had, through no fault of hers. Love works in strange ways, and one cannot hide from cupid's arrow even if one tried. It was useless blaming anyone now, or regretting. All that mattered to him was that his love was gone. 

Alone in his apartment, Syaoran allowed himself to let loose all the tears that still rained inside him. Alone, he had no need to fear someone hearing him… no need to worry about appearing weak, but rather, rejoiced in that same emptiness that he used to dread, for in that emptiness was there comfort to be given. Alone… he could finally let out all the anguish that he felt, the pain of losing his love to someone who had come into her life later than he had, yet knowing that he could never have her. 

//_ I would like so much to fight for her, to win her back. But it wouldn't be fair for her… I may have to leave again. I can't be selfish and make her wait for me… for I know that she'll be happier being with someone else. But it hurts so much… _// 

His gaze landed on a flute on the table. It had been a gift from Sakura, a few years ago, for his birthday. She had gotten it for him since she said that she had heard that music helped one to set free all the emotions that they had kept bottled up inside- Sakura had sent a flute since they had played it in school before, and Syaoran had proved to be rather good at it. To Syaoran, that flute had been special. It had been a gift from his Sakura and was hence one of his prized possessions, next to his pendent. 

Now, he picked it up, and ran his fingers lightly over its smooth surface. He took a deep breath, and poured his woes into a woeful piece that told of his lost love. 


End file.
